Four Ways:
Listening
Respecting Suspending Voicing
'The heart of dialogue
is a simple but profound capacity to listen...not only to others but also to
ourselves and our own reactions... We often pay great attention to what goes on in us, when
what is actually required is a kind of disciplined self- forgetting...you must create a space in
which listening can occur.'
Good listening
requires that we slow down, that we learn to recognise and manage how we are
listening now, which is often from within our memories, a 'net of thought that I cast on a
particular situation'. (There is a section on 'the ladder of inference', the process by which we
jump immediately from limited observed facts to wide conclusions based on internally held
memories, biases and assumptions - and then act as if the whole conclusion were based on
fact). It also requires that we learn to look for evidence that disconfirms or challenges our
preexisting point of view, not simply for confirmation. Finally, and perhaps most difficult for
organisations, it requires that we slow down, an anathema to those who are hooked on quick
and 'efficient' decision making
Isaacs suggests
the following questions and practices:
Questions
Practices
-
Be aware of thought
- Stick to the facts
- Follow the disturbance [something that
jars, and gives the opportunity to
disconfirm a position]
- Listen without resistance
- Stand still.
He goes on to touch
on the art of listening for the dilemmas that people face in groups , for
example whether or how to voice a privately held belief that may be interpreted in various ways
in the organisational context.
'The heart of dialogue
is a simple but profound capacity to listen...not only to others but also to
ourselves and our own reactions... We often pay great attention to what goes on in us, when
what is actually required is a kind of disciplined self- forgetting...you must create a space in
which listening can occur.'
Good listening
requires that we slow down, that we learn to recognise and manage how we are
listening now, which is often from within our memories, a 'net of thought that I cast on a
particular situation'. (There is a section on 'the ladder of inference', the process by which we
jump immediately from limited observed facts to wide conclusions based on internally held
memories, biases and assumptions - and then act as if the whole conclusion were based on
fact). It also requires that we learn to look for evidence that disconfirms or challenges our
preexisting point of view, not simply for confirmation. Finally, and perhaps most difficult for
organisations, it requires that we slow down, an anathema to those who are hooked on quick
and 'efficient' decision making
Isaacs suggests
the following questions and practices:
Questions
Practices
-
Be aware of thought
- Stick to the facts
- Follow the disturbance [something that
jars, and gives the opportunity to
disconfirm a position]
- Listen without resistance
- Stand still.
He goes on to touch
on the art of listening for the dilemmas that people face in groups , for
example whether or how to voice a privately held belief that may be interpreted in various ways
in the organisational context.
Chapter 5
on respecting is primarily concerned with learning to see and to work in the context
of the whole, to centre ourselves and to perceive relative degrees of wholeness within
conversations.
'Typically...[we]
do not know how to listen to the whole flow of a conversation; we select
pieces out of it, aspects that matter to us or perhaps that irritate us'.
Isaacs gives an
example of a participant in a group who spoke in a way that irritated the others,
until it was recognised that what he was saying was a concealed statement of a sense of
isolation and a plea for understanding. Once that could be recognised and respected, the
conversation could move forward.
Isaacs' questions
and practices for respecting are:
Questions
Practices
Chapter 5
on respecting is primarily concerned with learning to see and to work in the context
of the whole, to centre ourselves and to perceive relative degrees of wholeness within
conversations.
'Typically...[we]
do not know how to listen to the whole flow of a conversation; we select
pieces out of it, aspects that matter to us or perhaps that irritate us'.
Isaacs gives an
example of a participant in a group who spoke in a way that irritated the others,
until it was recognised that what he was saying was a concealed statement of a sense of
isolation and a plea for understanding. Once that could be recognised and respected, the
conversation could move forward.
Isaacs' questions
and practices for respecting are:
Chapter 6
on suspending is concerned with withholding our judgment in a way that allows
dialogue to replace 'serial monologues', the latter being notoriously the common currency of
many organisational meetings and virtually all public political debate.
Suspending requires
developing the ability to stand back from your 'noble certainties' and
'access your ignorance' - the capacity to pause and refocus.
Isaacs identified
two forms of suspension. The first is to disclose, to make available to yourself
and others what is in your mind, so you can see what is going on, including perhaps your own
dilemmas of concern about the way what you say may be taken. The second is to become
aware of the process, for example anger, that may be generating or driving our thought. It is
worth noting the de Bono's famous 'thinking hats' can be used as a way of recognising and
declaring this sort of situation 'neutrally' - 'I am talking with my red hat' declares anger, while
recognising that to see the situation through anger is not the only valid view. Isaacs introduces a
brief diversion into theories of consciousness (Maturana and Bohm) to explain some of the
issues of awareness.
Isaacs' questions
and practices for suspending are:
Questions
Practices
-
Suspend certainty
- Seek the order between
- Try frame experiments [framing the issue
differently]
- Externalize thought
- Ask; What am I missing? How does the problem
work?
The greatest barriers
to suspension are fear of dealing with the new and, in organisations, fear
of slowing down the process.
Chapter 7
on voicing 'has to do with revealing what is true for you regardless of other
influences that might be brought to bear... It involves learning to ask..What needs to be
expressed now?'
He includes a revealing
story by a Yugoslav immigrant to USA. In Yugoslavia you could say
what you liked about your boss, but could not criticise Tito, the President. In the USA you can
say what you like about the President, but can not criticise your boss.
Isaacs' questions
and practices for voicing are:
Questions
Practices
1. Dialogue This!
