You have the photo
copies of the significant points from my book. If you wish to explore
further...
Two types of relationships:
I-It and I-Thou
Buber establishes
the necessity of a distinction between types of relationships by noting that
humans do not relate to that which is other than their selves as mere things alone. Put more
simply, we do not treat others only as objects - as means to an end. Living such that all is
treated as an object (in extreme cases, even one's self is considered an object - an It) is a
empty and confusing existence. If we see the world only through our experiences, then we will
miss much of that which is.
I-It:
We experience most
things as just that - things. They do not respond to our perception, they
are not changed by it. We experience them as objects - as It. Even if we distinguish between
the outer and the inner experiences, we still do not add anything significant or different to our
experience. Indeed, Buber claims that even a distinction between those experiences which are
open and those which are secret does not add anything. Fundamentally, we still experience the
other as an It. There is no relation between observer and observed - no connection. The
experience is totally in the observer and not it that which is observed. But this is only part of our
awareness of the world.
I-Thou:
We reach a new
level of awareness when we approach the other as a Thou - as a relational
being. The Thou is changed by my awareness of it in that it responds to my awareness - and
thus establishes a relation between I and Thou. Buber notes three ways in which we can
become aware of the Thou:
-
In nature: this
is the bare minimum awareness of Thou - other
creatures can respond to us or not, depending on their own awareness
of our Thou-ness. When we attempt to communicate with them (which
we would never do with an object), we are at "the threshold of
speech" - because we never know if they understand us as a Thou.
- In other humans: this is the most common
experience of another Thou.
While we can experience other persons as objects, we only know
them as complete beings when we are aware of them as another Thou
- a being which we can enter into a relationship with. When we
address another, we usually get a response. This establishes the I-
Thou relationship with the other, and is fully realized in conversations.
- In spiritual beings: Here is where we get
close to Mysticism in our
expression - for Buber says here that "here the relation is clouded, yet
it discloses itself; it does not use speech, yet begets it." In the end, we
cannot speak of the Thou of which we are aware - yet it still seems to
be undeniably here for us.
How do we know
if the Thou exists?
"But with
what right do we draw what lies outside speech into relation with the world of the
primary word?"
The essence of
his answer is this: we realize that each thing we encounter can be a Thou if we
choose to see it as such.
"In every
sphere in its own way, through each process of becoming that is present to us we
look out toward the fringe of the eternal Thou. In each we are aware of a breath from the
eternal Thou; in each Thou we address the eternal Thou."
We are acutely
aware that there is more to the world than our experience of it - there is some
profound other of which we are aware, yet cannot express. That of which we are aware is not
an It, not an object which can be experienced, but rather something of which we become
aware. The clearest way to express this is that we can have a relationship with the other.
Consider a human
relationship which has progressed to a deep level of understanding. To some
people, this relationship will look like each of the persons in it are treating each other as
objects. But to the persons in the relationship, they are aware of the other as a Thou - a being
apart from the I, yet also a part of the I. It is a pity that quite a few 'relationships' are nothing
of
the sort - each of the persons experiences the other as an object, as an It rather than as a Thou.
These are the 'relationships' which remain static and which end in disaster. We are unsatisfied
with such 'relationships' because we feel they are missing something. We are correct - they are
missing the very thing which defines them as relationships - a Thou. A true relationship with the
Thou is a dynamic, growing, creative , changing awareness.
But a relationship
can only be built on choice - the Thou can "step up to meet me", but I must
choose to reciprocate - or the relationship fails. If I go out looking for a relationship by looking
for an object, then I will never find that which I seek.
For Buber, the
same is true of our 'search' for God - if we see God as a thing, as something to
be experienced, then we will be frustrated in our search. God is not an It, but rather is a Thou.
All that we need to do to find God is to choose to become aware of God. How do we do that?
"If you explore
the life of things and of conditioned being you come to the unfathomable
(witness the current state of physics), if you deny the life of things and of conditioned being
you stand before nothingness (are you listening, Nietzsche?), if you hallow this life you
meet the living God."
1. David Borenstein
